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12 January 2014

Dealing With Loneliness

There was a time in my life, a long time ago, when I felt very lonely in the world. Do you know what it is like to feel you will never be loved for who you are? To never feel truly understood? To feel that when people see you, they are not seeing the real you - and they don't even try to see the real you. It is like the real you is invisible to everyone but yourself - and everyone thinks you are somebody you are really not. To be next to a person and feel so far away. That kind of loneliness is even more lonely than being just by yourself.


Nobody came. Nobody came to save me. Nobody came to understand. The only person in the world, it seemed, was me.
I was all alone, as it had always been, and seemed it always would be.And in this darkness, I saw the only way out into the light… love. Love can save you. Love is the only way out of hell. Not someone loving you, because you can never expect anybody to love you. But you loving someone else. If no one loves you, at least you can love someone else. Love, without expecting love in return. There are others who are suffering in the hell of loneliness - love them so they need not suffer as you have suffered. Live so that others need not experience the hell you have experienced. A gentle eye, a kind word, a helping hand, a patient ear, a generous smile… these are the free acts of love you can give to ease the suffering of others. These acts of love take away loneliness - both their loneliness and yours. And they add to love - both theirs and yours.


I can't guarantee anyone will ever love you back in the way you need to be loved. Love is always a choice, made freely by people and by fate. But I can guarantee that the love you choose to give freely, returns to you freely to live inside your heart. As love lives, so you live in love. For in the love you give to others, lies the seed of heaven. The hell of loneliness you once felt gradually fades away into the past. Love has the power to transform hell into heaven.


If you don't understand any of this, then you are lucky, because you have not experienced the hell of loneliness, and so do not understand its language. Perhaps you live surrounded by love - or perhaps you feel you do not need love. But if you do understand the hell of loneliness, then know you are not alone. I know it may seem no one cares, but I care. That is why I write this for you. To let you know that you are not as alone as you may believe. And you need not envy those who never seem to have been lonely, for you are lucky too.

Have a great week ahead... Much love!

13 comments:

  1. I quite understand the language. I came to realize that no one can love you more than yourself... Being lonely is really different from feeling lonely.

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    1. You are right Peace, and you can't love others more than you love yourself.

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  2. Thanks for sharing anyway. ur contents are interestingu

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    1. And thanks for visiting, reading, and commenting.lol... I'll keep trying, thank you.

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  3. I loved ur blog. I liked a point you made "learning to love yourself". How can you love another person when you can't love yourself. Thank you. Miss Catherine, I see you. Ernest.

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    1. Thank you Ernest. I'm glad you love my blog... Would love to hear more from you.

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  4. if we could but only love ourselves and let Christ's love fill us, we could be alone but never lonely.
    thanks for sharing and being there for the lonely, let the love revolution begin in me, amen.

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    1. Yes, there is no love as the love of Christ... Thanks for reading. Go, spread the love around!

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  5. Ah! Totally love this post coz I connect with it somehow. Sometimes we need to love without expecting it to be reciprocal!!
    New on ur blog and Now ff u on G+

    Check out my new post on kazinidaily.blogspot.com

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    1. Awww! That's so sweet of you! Following u back right away.
      Thanks for visiting.

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  6. Thank you CATHERINE!!!
    "To let you know that you are not as alone as you may believe"
    www.adezeezee.blogspot.com

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  7. Thank you Zainab. I'm not lonely any more...that was long time ago

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  8. Hi Catherine. Maybe we don’t have a whole lot in common, me being an old man in a country thousands of miles away. But I do see that you have been in touch with loneliness and that you have the courage to express it and to share it gracefully.

    I see that you posted this a few months ago. Lately, given worldwide attention about terrible things happening in your country, I am deeply touched and filled with concern. I find myself checking your site frequently for ‘normalcy,’ then breath bitter sigh. (such as when I noticed this post) My brief and slight acquaintance with you and your friends so far is quite enough to heighten my attention to what is happening to women there, and I pray that we all could instantly have a deeper bond – one that normally only time and appropriate circumstance can establish.

    When I think of how we are so much different, that is when a feeling of loneliness sets in, but, of course, that’s an illusion. So I will go with what we all do have in common (you really are my sisters… daughters… or some blood relation). Your description of Unconditional Love as the remedy for loneliness is right on! If I had your wisdom when I was as young, I might be president today (It’s ok; my ‘little brother’ can have the stage for now )

    God Bless You Catherine… and everyone!

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